Do Not Open Until…

Okay, wow.

Having feels tonight I was not expecting to have.

Vaguely remembered that I’d written myself a letter to read in 10 years as a bucket list thing and that I was supposed to open it sometime this year. I was rummaging around in the drawer I’d hidden it in today so I grabbed it and… whoops.

What can I say? My grasp of time is tenuous at best.

Eh, close enough! Lol.

So, I opened it up and read the letter I’d written to myself in 2016 and… well, fuck. There were a few tears. (I cried like a bitch, yo.)

Laughed a little too because, you know, I crack me up.

Whelp, can’t argue with the truth! (To be fair, I didn’t think I’d still be around ten years after writing that.)

I’m not gonna share the whole thing with you because it’s hella personal. I will share one more bit, though, because it was the thing that hit me hardest.

Oof! That one hurt.

In 2016, I didn’t know what Borderline Personality Disorder was or that I have it. I didn’t know what a BPD’s favourite person was – or that I was going to lose mine in less than five years. And, yeah, it was better for my health and we were toxic together and losing Drew meant building better, stronger relationships with other people… but I won’t pretend I don’t get an ache in my chest when I think about her.

(Sure am glad I folded those cranes, though! My hands are definitely way too messed up with osteoarthritis now to do that shit, so good job, 2016 me.)

Anywho… Skype doesn’t exist anymore, and my nights of heavy drinking are long gone but, just for tonight, I’m gonna go ahead and pour a couple of Four Horsemen in honour of 2016 Wondra and the long journey between her and 2026 Wondra.

Tomorrow? Well, I guess tomorrow I’ll sit down and write a letter for 2036 Wondra.